A Means of Introduction

As a means of introduction, I’d like to share some of the pieces of my life that spilled out of the puzzle box to create me. Some of them most likely fell off the table, onto the floor, and might never be found. These are the pieces I’ve put together so far.
 
I was born into a family that meant well but never quite connected.
 
I was shy as a child, read all the time, played with my imaginary friends, and was much more sensitive than I let on.
 
My life and my family was shaped around my father’s temper. It was never bad enough to break us but it has driven our family apart.
 
I was raised in the Christian church and Jesus was a big part of my life for years. Then we broke up and I don’t think we’re ever getting back together.
 
I was in a relationship with a woman for a few years in my 20s. Until then I didn’t realize you really can fall in love with anyone. It was the happiest time in my life, until it wasn’t.
 
I lived alone for a long time in a house in the mountains. I started to accept that I might be alone forever and that was okay. It was a hard but comforting time in my life when I realized my own strength.
 
Before I was strong, I was weak, crippled by depression. She was an ever-present companion who I’ve finally set on the shelf. She’s still there. I look at her sometimes and she waves. Most days she stays on the shelf but every so often I’ll find her in my pocket, like an unwelcome but familiar friend.
 
I’m married now and I’m still adjusting to a life I never pictured. I was alone for a long time and I don’t recognize myself as a married woman. I’m here, I’m in it, and it’s hard.
 
40 is close. Turning 40 doesn’t bother me. It’s not the age, it’s how fast I got here. My nephew is going to high school next year, my parents are long retired, and I’m feeling a bit dazed.
 
I thought I knew what my life was going to be. When I peered a little more closely at the puzzle pieces I put together, I realized the picture doesn’t match the box top. At all.
 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *